When You're Acting From Fear
Updated: Jun 17, 2020
Acting from fear is how most of us are conditioned, unless of course we do the work to free ourselves from reacting to fear in a nonproductive manner that doesn't align to our truest selves. I have written about my bikini competition experience before, and this was during a time when I acted out of fear of being alone and was craving external validation. I have been forced to dig into myself even deeper during this pandemic, and this has revealed to me that while I have thought I felt less afraid of being alone, I was behaving in ways that still show I am afraid of being alone. Consistently putting myself last and people pleasing are two of those behaviors, if I'm being honest with myself.
Lately I've been faced with questions such as, "Who are you? Where can you create more space in your life to learn more about yourself? What's your purpose here? How do you want to be remembered?" None of these questions come to mind when you don't know how to put yourself first and you are consistently operating from a place of people pleasing. Focusing on another person or external situation takes places over the self when your programming has been driven by childhood and society to act this way. Until we sit down and get quiet with ourselves can we learn what we want and need to live our best lives.
While I tried controlling my fear of being alone by looking and acting certain ways, I've realized that that goes alone with not paying attention to yourself and your needs. It goes along with feeling little to no self-worth. Until I started paying attention to my mental health and using exercise as a tool to get closer to my truest self, I was letting my fears drive me further away from me. I was running away from myself with mindless exercise, partying and avoiding my gut feelings.
In addition to the questions I have mentioned above, you can also ask yourself - am I truly tending to my needs and desires even if it feels scary? Am I letting fear of others' judgements run my life? Am I letting other fears run my life? Exercise is one tool I have found most healing for my journey to myself, and I love helping others discover its power. Movement is medicine - physically and mentally.